To my kids, Donald and Ruby

 My sweet babies, I am gathering my thoughts for our call tomorrow evening.  Every Tuesday at 7:00 p.m. I call you guys.  The calls are pretty dry.  You guys say "Hi and that's all we're saying." And then I talk to you for exactly 3 minutes at which time Ruby says we're hanging up now.  And I say "Bye I love you!" as fast as I can so you'll hear me before you hang up.  It's so strange to me that this is even happening. It's been hard to adjust to this.  I don't think I ever will.  We are meant to be together because I am your mom and you need me and I love you.  But I do accept that at this particular time, we are not together.  It's not my choice but I accept that this is how it is right now.  This week I decided that I need to figure out a better way to process my feelings about this separation.  I have been waking up heavy hearted every day for months about this situation but it's not helping anyone.  I have to let go o...

 My sweet babies, I am making this blog for you as a record and a reminder of how much I love you. Since we’ve been separated 6 months now, my heart is very broken. I long to hold you and tuck you in at night and kiss your foreheads and make your breakfast in the morning.  I’m so sad that your dad won’t let me see you. This is parental alienation. I’m doing all the things the court says I need to do to get you back. Your dad is keeping you from me to hurt me. He has convinced you that I’m not safe for you but that’s not true. Someday it will be clear. I will never stop fighting for you. I pray God will soften your hearts to me and give you a fierce curiosity to know me. My heart is so broken. I need you guys and you need me too.