The Ice is Starting to Melt

 My dear babies!  Last week on our call, my sweet boy said he's not really afraid of me.  It was such a gift to hear that.  I'm trying to let you guys know you don't have to hate me.  It's ok for us to have some time apart and you can still make some space in your heart for me.  I'm not a threat!

I sent your package last week.  It will arrive today.  I  hope you guys like the things I sent you.  I collected them for a few months and tried to send a mix of things you need and things you'll like just for fun.  I sent some pajama bottoms for both of you because being cozy at home when it's cold out is the best!  I sent some shoes for both of you and some undies for Ruby.  I also sent the ingredients for honey brown bear because you're probably missing that in your life! It's such a classic snack.  I sent Ruby some luxury face masks from work and for my baby boy, a star gazing book and star finder wheel.  I hope we can use them together sometime soon!

This week is Thanksgiving.  I wish so much that you guys would be willing and allowed to meet me at the park for an hour just to say hello and let me hug you.  I will ask for that on our call tomorrow.  Who knows- miracles do happen!!!  I just want you to know how much I love and miss you guys and that you are always on my mind.

My birthday was last week and I thought my heart would break from missing you so badly.  But instead, something seems to have shifted and now I'm feeling more hopeful.  I'm still working on saving up the $5600 for the forensic psych evaluation for the court.  I can make the appointment once I have $3500 which should be in about 2 weeks!  I just keep working as much as possible to get that money!

I love you guys so much.  I hope you are both getting what you need emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually.  I pray your hearts stay soft and open and that you never lose your sense of curiosity and wonder.  I'm keeping my heart open too and dreaming of all the fun adventures we will go on when we get to be together again.  I'll keep sending you love and praying for you.  I wish I could send you big packages of gifts for Christmas this year, but I will save that money for the eval and the attorney so that we can be together in the spring.  I'm going to ask to have you guys for the summer.  I'd love to get you out of Tucson for the hot season!

Sending all the love a mother could ever have for her kids.  You guys mean everything to me.

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